Dr Nihara Krause
Consultant Clinical Psychologist

 

Social Anxiety

 

Christmas, with all its various social occasions, can be difficult for people with social anxiety. Try and face your anxiety by deciding to go, but chose your challenge – start with a small social event, work up to a bigger one.

 

1. Give yourself some time to get ready – do something relaxing beforehand such as have a bath, watch some TV

2. Arrive at the party before it gets too busy – get there on time or even a little early

3. Prepare some topics you might like to talk about before the party, practice some lines in front of a mirror – sounds daft but it helps to be more fluent

4. Give yourself the opportunity to have a break if it becomes too much – go somewhere quiet, do some breathing, visualise a confident you and go back and face your fear

5. Know in advance when you would like to leave

6. Don’t ‘ self-medicate’ with alcohol – it might initially relax but it will generally add to more anxiety

7. Why not try stem4’s Clear Fear app? It has handy tips on reducing anxiety, changing negative thoughts with the help of the ‘Worry Warriors’ and provides the opportunity to face difficult situations, one small step at a time.

 

Eating Disorders

 

Christmas with its focus on eating and plenty of treats can be very challenging if you have an eating disorder. For those with anorexia nervosa, it can be frightening to think of facing so much food and for those with bulimia nervosa a fear of how to regulate eating.

 

1. Plan what you think you are going to eat before you go or else eat before you go – stick to your meal plan if you are following one. On the other hand, it can also be a great opportunity to try something new

2. Don’t skip meals during the day in order to cope with going out – this will make you hungrier when you are out and more likely to be out of control

3. Be as honest as you can with family and friends. Make sure they can provide something you can eat

4. Learn how to relax before you join social situations which involve food so that you know what to do to relax when you are in them

5. Have a ready prepared answer for anyone who might comment on your weight, shape or the amount of food you are eating

6. Don’t starve in order to eat at Christmas

 

Managing Low Mood and Depression over the Christmas Period

 

When your mood is low or you have a diagnosis of depression, it’s difficult to find the energy or the motivation to do anything. It’s also easy to feel lonely in your sadness when all around you are making merry.

Here are a few tips to help you get through what can be a difficult time.

1. Attend Christmas events rather than avoid them. See attendance as the goal, rather than interaction or party performance.

2. Give yourself the option of being a listener rather than a contributor. Keep social goals small and attainable.

3. Do some extra regular exercise to help reduce lethargy – walking is great.

4. Try not to self-medicate with alcohol. This only serves to further depression.

5. Take steps to make an effort with your appearance if your mood has led to self-neglect and have a wash, or brush your hair for example – self-care is the start to taking small steps to getting better.

6. Try and connect with people who support and care for you.

7. Try stem4’s Move Mood app which helps set small goals which, with the help of a digital ‘companion’ you can try and achieve.

 

Supporting Children And Young People Who Are Bereaved Over Christmas

 

Christmas with its festivities can feel difficult for families who are grieving. Missing the time spent and plans made with the lost person can be more in people’s minds, especially around Christmas celebrations and routines and it is a time to remember. Whilst grief is understood and responded to differently at different ages, it can also vary in how it is felt every year.

Tailoring support to each child or young person is therefore important.

Some basic rules for both children and young people however, include:

1. Focussing on planned, related activities, since talking isn’t always easy. Some examples include putting together a memory book or memory box or creating a photo montage around the person or the loss experience.

2. Expressing grief. Create opportunities to express sadness through looking at books or movies where there may be a loss and talking about the feelings they raise. If, the child or young person is at an angry stage of grieving, providing opportunity for anger relief by, for example, having a punch pillow, can be useful.

3. Create new memories. Organising different activities to usual or organising the day differently can help.

4. Permitting opportunities to experience non-grief related emotions. Organise some fun or charitable activities to help provide the opportunity to learn that there are many emotions children and young people can feel, so they can hold onto others alongside their grief.

For help on grief at Christmas:
Try Winston’s Wish (you can call their Helpline on 08088 020 021), Child Bereavement UK, healthforteens.co.uk, and Cruse Bereavement Support.

 

Addiction

 

If you have an addiction or are in recovery, the Christmas period with its surpluses can provide temptations that are hard to resist.

 

1. Keep your schedule of abstinence. If you think there is a risk of lapsing back into alcohol or drug misuse then perhaps don’t attend certain places or events or be with certain groups of people who you know can be triggers

2. Challenge ‘I deserve it’ type thinking that encourages drinking or drug use

3. Practice saying ‘no’ and make sure you say this in situations where you need to in order to protect yourself

4. At a party try and join people who are non-drinkers. If you have a friend who is a non-drinker attending the party, pre-arrange to go to the party together

5. Make a plan to leave early – the later you stay, the higher the likelihood of being tempted